Growing up, I was always surrounded by people wanting to ‘be the best’, to ‘rank top of their class’ and to ‘beat the benchmark’.

These ‘people’ were me.

I pushed and pushed and pushed. I became an overachiever because I thought that this is the only way to not be a failure. Why did My brain make the following connection?

Not being an overachiever = being a failure

Why did I, and so many people around the world, resent the idea of mediocrity so much that we equate it with failure? Why were we so scared of being average?

This idea and way of life stayed with me until I read 2 books that changed everything:

1. The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fu*k by Mark Manson
2. The Achiever Fever Cure by Claire Booth

These 2 books allowed me to explore a new perspective, helping me become more content with who I am and what I’m capable (or not capable) of.

Disclaimer

Before we get into the main lessons I learned from these books, it is important to note that this is not an article telling you to not try. I am not urging or suggesting that you give up all efforts to better yourself because most of us are mediocre. I am simply suggesting that you pay attention to where you put your emotional energy.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s get into the lessons!

1. Embrace mediocrity

The third chapter of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fu*k is called ‘You are NOT special’. Mark Manson talks about the reality that most of us are average at what we do.

The more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. Philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “The Backwards Law”

People are so afraid of accepting mediocrity because they believe that if they do, they’ll never achieve anything in their lives. The reality is that people who excel at something do so because they accept that they are not great at it now — they are mediocre. This allows them to become better.

Embracing your mediocrity gives you the mental and emotional capacity to improve.

2. Take hustle culture with a pinch of salt

‘Hustle Culture’ is a term to refer to the obsession with work. It is the urge to work faster, harder and stronger – continuously. Hustle culture means not taking breaks because ‘the grind don’t stop’.

This idea, which started in the early 2000s, has only grown more and more with the introduction of influencer culture.

Although ‘influencing’ is not inherently bad and is in fact a natural part of life, social media has created a sense of fake reality that makes it difficult to not compare what you see on a screen to what your life is like.

The combination of hustle culture and influencer culture has made mediocrity all the more hated. Simply having a 9–5 is looked down upon and quitting your job and ‘going for it’ is now the new normal. There is nothing wrong with wanting to venture into new territory but, equally, there is nothing wrong with being content in a traditional job.

Being fixated on the airbrushed, flawless image of life that we see on social media only serves to remind us of what we are not. Having goals and aspirations is great and encouraged but part of setting goals is making them SMART, where the ‘R’ stands for realistic.

Next time you are scrolling through your feed on Instagram or LinkedIn, ask yourself: ‘How does this make me feel about myself and my life?’. If the answer is ‘negative’ or anything similar, the unfollow button is there for a reason.

3. No one cares about what you’re doing

The fear of mediocrity often stems from comparison.

“Everything in life is relative.” – Anita Lasker-Wallfisch

If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people, self-fulfilment becomes very difficult because the grass is always greener on the other side. If you also feel that other people are comparing themselves to you, you may put a front to show a specific kind of life that you think does not look ‘mediocre’.

The reality is: no one cares!

This is the magic of a phenomenon known as the spotlight effect. Everyone is too focused on themselves to pay attention to what you’re doing. We are often hyper-aware of our every move and feel that others are watching us. However, everyone else feels exactly the same about themselves.

Make sure you are buying a house or joining a company or starting a project because you want to, not because it will impress others. You are the one who will have to live through the experience, not them.

4. Stop the ‘What’s Next?’

In her book, The Achiever Fever Cure, Claire Booth talks about how overachievers are obsessed with the idea of ‘What’s next?’.

You have just achieved something that you have worked hard for and are very proud of and your first instinct is to ask yourself:

Now what? What’s next?

This is a very common trait in overachievers and people who resent mediocrity. The fear of being average is making it difficult for you to take a second and appreciate yourself and what you have achieved. Switching off temporarily is an impossible task.

Stop and take a second to appreciate what you have accomplished. Living in the present will not make you any more or less extraordinary than you already are. In fact, taking breaks is very important for boosting creativity and preventing burnout.

Final thoughts

Accepting that we cannot have 7+ billion incredible genius superheroes on the planet might ease your frustration. Even if we did have 7+ billion geniuses, that would’ve become the ‘new average’ and a different measure would be established.

Set goals and work towards them but make sure you are doing it for you.

What do you think? Do you agree? Do you disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts!